You’ve heard it many times before, children need structure. Not only does structure provide a child with a routine and expectations of what comes next, it also provides them with a sense of comfort and security. While routines are incredibly important, it is just as important that a child is able to tolerate veering from that schedule. There are many children diagnosed with autism who find it difficult to veer from routines, structures and schedules. When the schedule requires a spontaneous change, this rigidity often leads to inappropriate behaviors, such as tantrums and physical aggression. In the same respect, children, including those with autism, may exhibit these behaviors when there is no structure or schedule; in fact, this is very common.
So you may wonder what to do, with a schedule, my child has a tantrum, and without a schedule, my child has a tantrum. It is true, children need structure. They key is to provide structure, but allow for flexibility. The process of getting to this point varies for each child. If a child with autism is not accustomed to following a schedule throughout the day, it is important to create a visual schedule for that child to use. To involve the child in this process, review it each morning and throughout the day. Your child may be very rigid and, at first, require a very detailed schedule and follow it to a tee. In this situation, make this a detailed schedule and only veer from it when absolutely necessary. Over time, slowly add something in that is not part of the schedule or make the a more general schedule. For example, add in a book in between lunch time and playing outside; or, instead of (1) play with puzzles then (2) color, you write “play time.”
There are some situations that are out of our control and, therefore, we cannot prepare our children for it. We can, however, prepare them to deal with the unexpected. This preparation and timeline will look different for each child. For some, it might involve reviewing a social story everyday, for another it might include continued practice of accepting a change in routine. This process will also involve reinforcing the child for tolerating changes in routine. This could be anything from verbal praise, “I am so proud of you!,” to going out for ice cream. These reinforcers should fade over time